10 Pains of Being a Girl

mylife

Starbucks…hugs…twerking…the worshipping of Ryan Gosling. Whatever comes to mind when you think of girls, we’re all quite different from one another. But there are a few things that unite us all. Annoying things. Things that make us tell ourselves that we deserve that drink/chocolate/item on sale/sleeping in til noon. Because we really do.

Hair Everywhere

I don’t know how it happens, but wherever I look I find strands of long, brown hairs. On the floor, in my food, all over my clothes. And after a shower I wonder if I can’t surely have a bald patch somewhere. And then I panic that all my hair is falling out and I am destined to a life of wigs and I look for said imaginary bald patch, of course to find none.

Losing Hair Slides Everywhere

I usually lose them in my hair. Don’t ask me how, but there’s a reason my friends called me Medusa in high school. Otherwise they get lost in toiletry bags, in other people’s houses etc. We depend on them though, and spend probably more than a justifiable amount on replacing them.

THAT Time of Month

Which according to EU law is a time of luxury. Ha. Sure. Personally I love the pain that makes me want to curl up into a sad little ball and/or tear out my uterus by hand. It is like a luxury spa retreat, really. Also it’s largely taboo to even talk about something that is common among half the world’s population. We have to be ashamed of our reproductive organs functioning as they should.

Pressure to be Girly

Have I ever attempted contouring? Of course not. I only apply foundation for nights out or fancy events. I’ve never watched a make up or hair tutorial. My make up bag is minuscule. You never see me in heels. And is there something wrong with me, or any other girl who isn’t a stereotypical girl? I like to think not, let’s just be comfortable in our own skin.

Judged for being “frigid” or “slutty”, there is no in between

Since the sexual revolution women don’t have to pretend to be “pure” anymore. Because if they are, they are what society now deems as weird. Unless you’re too comfortable in your sexual freedom in which you should really learn to cross your legs, dear. It feels like we can’t win. You can’t make everyone happy with your life choices, so you might as well just focus on what makes you happy. But y’know, be safe of course.

We judge each other, constantly

We are our own worse enemies. There’s a truth acknowledged that women don’t dress for men, they dress for each other. Yep, hence why some fashions repulse men but are worshiped by women. We know men don’t really notice tiny details, but we know for sure that other women do. And we’ll be damned if we feel second place to others. It’s a sad, bitchy world out there.

Feel guilty for wanting to be single, feel guilty for wanting to be settled

The fear of being asked by others, usually family members, of how’s our love life was brilliantly satirised by Helen Fielding’s Bridget Jones. Does being in a relationship mean you’re more successful than your single friends? No. On the other hand, it is seen as anti-feminist for wanting to be settled with a house and kids and a dog and your own home grown herbs. No, feminism is about choice, and your relationship status is entirely a personal choice.

The wonder that deep down we might actually be crazy

The constant memes on the internet that suggest that your girl might chop your head and your manhood off if she sees you texting another girl…. probably won’t happen, but it’s true that jealousy can infect anyone easily, and then paranoia kicks in. And sometimes we might doubt our own sanity. Well in the words of Lewis Carroll: “We’re all mad here”.

Feeling like the world is against you

All the statistics about men earning more and having the top jobs, and the cultures in which women are treated like second class citizens can make you feel like life for women is a marathon that you know you’re going to lose before you even begin. And although nobody chooses their gender, inequality is deeply cemented into society, history, and sadly the future.

Selfies

You can pretend all you want that it was just a casual snap, we all know you took time trying to find the best light/angle/filter. Nothing like the carefully curated world of social media to make us compare ourselves to friends, celebrities and strangers, right? I love that by taking a selfie the person feels good and they deserve to show off, but at the same time it just makes our self esteem completely dependable on how many likes we get.

Still, I love being a girl. We’re pretty fabulous, even when we’ve drunk a little too much and perhaps are crying over a slightly sentimental advert (if it has a cute dog in it I’m sold. Every time). And I doubt it’s a walk in the park being male either.

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