What I’ve learnt so far as a female “adult”

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I don’t know about you but I love reading articles written by women, for other women, on what they’ve learnt by being a woman. Little life lessons we should all take on board to make it through the day/week/month/year. To remind us we’re doing okay, everybody’s doing okay, and that we can achieve/overcome anything. And that eating all that chocolate is also totally okay. So I thought I’d have a go with my own life lessons learnt. I’m not even 22 yet, so it’s exciting/terrifying to think how these can change over time, and that I’ve got quite a few more life lessons waiting for me *gulp*

But for now, these I feel could help anyone else of the female persuasion (or anyone who wants to take them or leave them). Warning, I get a little…personal. But the internet needs more people talking about private fluids.

Don’t be ashamed to take selfies

Sure, some people go a little overboard and their snapchats/instagrams are kinda a vanity project. But hey, if it makes them feel good who am I to judge. If you’re feeling particularly on point, you deserve to take that selfie and flaunt yourself. If you’re feeling a little off point, you deserve to take that selfie to remind yourself you still look good.

Have a (or a few) close circle of friends

As opposed to casual acquaintances you can get drunk with but not much else. Which was fun during freshers year at uni, but really it’s more fulfilling having a handful of friends you know have your back, and you have theirs.

Out of all the SATC characters: Be like Samantha

I won’t lie, I find the other main Sex and the City girls kinda annoying, and maybe not the best role models. Carrie’s an awful human being, Charlotte needs to get a grip, and Miranda needs to lighten up. But Samantha was smart, ambitious, and unapologetically herself. She saw what she wanted, and she got it.

Pee After Sex

Cystitis does not sound fun, always have a wee after to avoid.

Don’t use the Pull Out Method

So many young women seem to use this method. You can get pregnant on pre cum alone, it’s really not worth the risk. There are plenty of contraceptive options out there to find what best suits you, even if it’s not what the doctor gave you when you were 17 or whatever. Know your body, and what works for it.

 

Don’t put more effort than you get out

For too long I used to invest more time and effort into friendships than what I was given in return. It’s more stress than it’s worth, if someone wants to see you they’ll make the effort. Don’t waste your time on people who take you for granted, save it for the people you appreciate and who appreciate you.

He’s Just Not That Into You

Have you ever seen that film? It’s terrible BUT does give an important lesson. Rather than overanalysing every little thing a guy says/does, its easier to accept his lack of effort is a lack of interest, and you can move on and not waste precious time/kisses. Sure, it’s a little one dimensional to assume that if a guy is interested, he will make an effort and not mess about, but there’s no point being hung up on a guy when you should be enjoying dating!

Always discuss periods, body hair and contraception with friends

And any other “taboo” subjects. Women should never be ashamed to talk about these things with one another, hell, we should be able to help one another with these things.

Compliment your friends as much as possible

Everyone likes a compliment, and who deserves it more than those lovelies who are our friends? Never be shy to dole one out, and make someones day!

 

Heartbreak isn’t easy, but it makes you stronger

At the time it could feel like nothing is worth anything, and that you’ll never recover. You will, and you will feel like you’ve become a better person for it. And it’s a great feeling realising you’re truly happy again on your own, even more so than when you were with someone.

Don’t arrange your life around someone else

I once read a brilliant article by someone who stated they were too young to be someones “other half” – they wanted to be wholly themselves. And we really should be that, even if we’re committed. I once nearly made a drastic move for a relationship, and when it didn’t work out I felt completely lost and isolated. But I picked myself up and ended up doing something I much preferred. Always live your own life on your own terms.

 

Life’s too short to be embarrassed by your underwear

If you have a pair you would never want to be caught dead (or y’know, undressed) in, bin them and buy yourself some nice new pairs. But also remember no other person is going to care what your underwear is like.

Don’t Play Games

Be coy, be playful, but seriously, don’t mess someone around if you would hate to be treated the same way. We’re all human, with pride and egos that are easily bruised by insecurities.

Say Sorry

Never let your pride get in the way of your relationship with someone you care for. Sometimes it’s easier to say sorry and move on.

Have an ultimate healthy dish, and an ultimate comfort dish

And be able to prepare both easily. Mines a iron rich salad of spinach, walnuts, chickpeas, feta, and salmon. The others corned beef hash. Nom.

If buying that thing sends you into your overdraft, don’t buy it

Whether it’s a dress, shoes, bag, or cocktail shaker. Whatever it is, it’s really not worth it if you don’t have the actual money. Be careful with your money and it’ll pay off in the long term.

Embrace Solitary Moments

Don’t be afraid to go for a coffee, shopping, cinema trip or even holiday solo. Sometimes you’ve just gotta have alone time to switch off.

Be Safe

It sucks that it has to be us to make sure we’re not harmed, whereas we should be able to walk down streets feeling safe. But it’s the real world, so never take that dodgy shortcut home. If you’re alone and uncomfortable on a bus, hop off. Ask a male friend to walk you home. Look after yourself.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

We are the worst judges of ourselves. Just because someone seems to have it together, would you be happy with their life? Sure I feel nervous not being in a graduate job, but it’s not what I want right now. Do your own thing, because there’ll be someone jealous and comparing themselves to you. Probably the person you compare yourself to.

Love the Way You Look – Imperfections and all

We’re never going to be literally flawless, but we’re pretty damn close. And it’s more fun having quirks (personally I get creeped out by people who are too gorgeous, like who are you.) Embrace what makes you, you, and work it.

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